"I Had No Idea"

Here is an excerpt from a letter my grandma Judy wrote to my mom's lawyer dated Oct 2, 2004:

"Today, 17 days after her telling me that Brian served her with divorce papers & filling me in with so much that happened since they got married -- I am still reeling. I had NO idea. She told us nothing. I always felt she was protecting him -- but I thought it was just from "little stuff" -- nothing so devastating & humiliating as what he has put her through. I honor her courage, persistence, devotion, love, & loyalty & her clear clear vision & desire to help another human being. I haven't had a clue, however, all this time, as to the horrendous struggle that has been taking place. Not only was this an incredibly negative situation, she received no support from his family, as they apparently blamed it on "relationship problems" & were unwilling to deal with their son on a deeper level. Michelle, incredible as it still is to  me, was always supportive -- 100% -- & only said good things about him. That's why this has all been such a shock to all of us."

My mom didn't want to tell her family and closest friends that she was an abused woman--just like so many other victims of domestic violence do.

Blessings

I have been blessed in so many ways since going public with my family situation. I feel that it would be impossible to count all the ways I have been helped by generous and loving friends, family, and also people I've not met yet--people who have touched my life in ways I never anticipated since my sisters ran away in July.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all the people who have donated to my gofundme to help me in my ongoing legal battle to determine a safe custody arrangement for my sisters. An update will be posted soon. Your continued support is a vital part of my fight against the injustice of my sisters since the courts sent us to live with our abusive father.

Other costs have come up unexpectedly, the most recent cost being my mom's vehicle. Your immediate support of me when I placed my artwork for sale has enabled me to pay for removal of the boot that was placed on Mom's van (that was parked where she last lived in Orem before her disappearance).

On Pain and Suffering

The past eight months have been full of lessons and blessings and extreme hardships. One lesson I have become familiar with is that you cannot have joy in life without pain. There are always lows and highs.

I have learned to let pain shape me into a better person, which can only happen if one embraces it. It's not something you can ignore or run from. You must rely on faith to work through it. The beauty in this is that trials that test your faith can become priceless experiences.

A quote that I love:

Here, then, is a great truth. In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner’s fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact, and strong. In this way the divine image can be mirrored from the soul...

Into every life there come the painful, despairing days of adversity and buffeting. There seems to be a full measure of anguish, sorrow, and often heartbreak for everyone, including those who earnestly seek to do right and be faithful. 

-James E. Faust, "The Refining Fire"

In every trial, there is a choice we must make. We can let the hardship consume us, or we can let it soften our hearts. If you choose the first, you will become bitter and hateful; if you choose the second, you will become more spiritually receptive and understanding. 

I've made my choice to continually strive to allow pain and hardship make me the better person. I refuse to be a victim of my dad's abuse--my sisters and I will be victors.