First off, today the page views hit 90,000. How incredible! In only four months, this blog has been able to spread my sister's true story across the country (and even internationally). I wouldn't be where I am today without each one of you who has come to read this collection of my family's experiences. Thank you.
As I discussed in my last post, here is a summary of all the abuse that I've put on this blog thus far. It's taken me a while to get it together and put it in order of occurrence, which isn't organized entirely accurately since the majority of my father's abuse was continual throughout the years. (For example, the abuse listed under "After Custody Change" were things he had been doing before the custody change, too). I felt that it was important to refresh these posts, since there are so many facts and stories that have been forgotten with time.
The list is long, but very informative. I recommend heading to each link for a complete description of abuse if there are any questions, since these are just summarized bullet points. Also, don't forget--there's a Documents tab, a Timeline, an About section, a Q&A tab (you can always comment with valid questions), a link to the Roby Report, the Custody Report, and a tab for the Random Memories.
Pre-Custody Change
-A very detailed list of the different ways our dad has abused us (from when we were toddlers til present day).
-The facts that show my dad is the alienator, and that my mom never tried to isolate us from him as he did to her. This one is a deep read, but I feel that it's definitely a post to bring back from the past since my dad continues to try and convince people that my mom is who he actually is.
-Our dad would repeatedly tell us about a naked woman attacking him to have sex with him on his mission in Brazil. He started telling us this story when we were 10, 5, and 6 years old. Sydney, Dani and I always got the feeling when he told it that he was getting some kind of sick thrill in telling us inappropriate things and forcing us to picture related images in our minds.
-My dad would often tell my sisters and me detailed and very graphic stories of crimes against women. These stories would terrify us and although we would ask him to stop, he took pleasure in making us uncomfortable and frightened.
Custody Change (May 2010)
Showing posts with label Courts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Courts. Show all posts
March 2, 2015
February 27, 2015
Update on GoFundMe Account
I find it's necessary to keep those who are donating in the loop of where my legal expenses stand, and exactly where every cent of your generous donations to my GoFundMe is going.
By the way... thank you SO much to everyone who has donated since my last thank you post a couple of months ago. You have given me a kind of support that I wouldn't have without you. You are keeping the court litigation open, and securing a chance at the girls being heard through the "proper channels." I feel that if Syd and Dani were here right now, they would thank each one of you.
Here is a full accounting of my Esplin Weight legal fees to date:
By the way... thank you SO much to everyone who has donated since my last thank you post a couple of months ago. You have given me a kind of support that I wouldn't have without you. You are keeping the court litigation open, and securing a chance at the girls being heard through the "proper channels." I feel that if Syd and Dani were here right now, they would thank each one of you.
Here is a full accounting of my Esplin Weight legal fees to date:
December 3, 2014
Facts About the GoFundMe Account
There has been some speculation about the GoFundMe account that was set up to help me and my sisters pay for attorneys.
When I filed the original petition to determine abuse and neglect against my dad in late June 2014, I was represented pro bono by an attorney. He had health problems and had to resign his bar membership effective July 1, 2014. I was left without legal representation when I needed it most desperately. Another attorney stepped in and represented me pro bono at the July 11 hearing where Judge Bartholomew vacated the temporary restraining order, which led my to my sisters deciding to run away on July 17 rather than go back to our dad whom they had publicly accused of abusing them. After the hearing, I was again left without an attorney to help me get the petition heard and my sisters protected.
In September, multiple family members rallied together and graciously loaned me money to pay the $5,000 retainer to hire a good attorney in Utah County with experience both in the Fourth District Court where my parents' divorce case was filed and in the Juvenile Court where my petition was filed. My attorneys are Trent Cahill and Scott Weight at Esplin Weight. I have also received some pro bono legal advice from an out-of-state attorney who has had experience trying a divorce case in the Fourth District Court in the past.
My attorneys have had to work hard defending against my dad's aggressive legal maneuvers. My dad has deployed every artifice and stratagem in his lawyer's legal arsenal to keep me and my sisters from having our day in court. Most recently, my dad was able to get the Juvenile Court to dismiss the amended petition we had submitted.
We are now asking the Court to reconsider that dismissal and have plans to continue fighting. But it takes money. Through today, I have incurred $9,235 in legal fees with Esplin & Weight. My attorneys estimate that if we are ultimately able to get the case reinstated and get through an evidentiary hearing, it will cost an additional $10,000, which you can see he has included in my most recent billing statement dated 26 November, 2014.
I am extremely grateful to all who have contributed to the GoFundMe account. I assure you that it is all going to pay my legal fees, either directly to my attorneys or to re-pay the family loan that was made to fund the legal retainer when I hired Esplin & Weight. So far, I have raised $2,920 through the GoFundMe. Of that amount, GoFundMe takes a 5% commission off the top, and another company takes an additional 3% to transfer the money to a bank account. So, I have yielded a net of $2690.78 from the GoFundMe. Many of the contributions to the GoFundMe have come from family members. From the general public and anonymous posters (some of whom may have been family, but I don't know), I have raised $2,690.78 through the GoFundMe as of December 3, 2014. Since receiving this bill, my uncle sent to Esplin Weight another $2,000 payment using his credit card on Monday, December 1st, which payment comes directly from your GoFundMe contributions. I will include proof of this $2,000 payment to this post when I get the receipt from Esplin Weight. This payment will also be reflected in my next statement by Esplin Weight that I will share here with you when I get it. So that means that since three days ago, my current amount due Esplin Weight is $12,235 ($2,235 for past work already done, and $10,000 for work they will do going forward). I still desperately need your help.
So to recap:
$9,235 Legal fees incurred to date by Esplin Weight
($5,000) Retainer paid to and used by Esplin Weight
$10,000 Estimated additional fees needed
($2,000) Payment made to Esplin Weight on Dec 1, 2014
$12,235 Amount currently due Esplin Weight today.
This is far below what I need to raise to continue to pay my attorneys' fees. But, again, I want to express my gratitude to all who have contributed. I want you to know that the money you have donated was and is needed, and appreciated, and it has not been wasted or used for any other purpose than to help me and my sisters in our legal battle to keep them safe and protected.
When I filed the original petition to determine abuse and neglect against my dad in late June 2014, I was represented pro bono by an attorney. He had health problems and had to resign his bar membership effective July 1, 2014. I was left without legal representation when I needed it most desperately. Another attorney stepped in and represented me pro bono at the July 11 hearing where Judge Bartholomew vacated the temporary restraining order, which led my to my sisters deciding to run away on July 17 rather than go back to our dad whom they had publicly accused of abusing them. After the hearing, I was again left without an attorney to help me get the petition heard and my sisters protected.
In September, multiple family members rallied together and graciously loaned me money to pay the $5,000 retainer to hire a good attorney in Utah County with experience both in the Fourth District Court where my parents' divorce case was filed and in the Juvenile Court where my petition was filed. My attorneys are Trent Cahill and Scott Weight at Esplin Weight. I have also received some pro bono legal advice from an out-of-state attorney who has had experience trying a divorce case in the Fourth District Court in the past.
My attorneys have had to work hard defending against my dad's aggressive legal maneuvers. My dad has deployed every artifice and stratagem in his lawyer's legal arsenal to keep me and my sisters from having our day in court. Most recently, my dad was able to get the Juvenile Court to dismiss the amended petition we had submitted.
We are now asking the Court to reconsider that dismissal and have plans to continue fighting. But it takes money. Through today, I have incurred $9,235 in legal fees with Esplin & Weight. My attorneys estimate that if we are ultimately able to get the case reinstated and get through an evidentiary hearing, it will cost an additional $10,000, which you can see he has included in my most recent billing statement dated 26 November, 2014.
I am extremely grateful to all who have contributed to the GoFundMe account. I assure you that it is all going to pay my legal fees, either directly to my attorneys or to re-pay the family loan that was made to fund the legal retainer when I hired Esplin & Weight. So far, I have raised $2,920 through the GoFundMe. Of that amount, GoFundMe takes a 5% commission off the top, and another company takes an additional 3% to transfer the money to a bank account. So, I have yielded a net of $2690.78 from the GoFundMe. Many of the contributions to the GoFundMe have come from family members. From the general public and anonymous posters (some of whom may have been family, but I don't know), I have raised $2,690.78 through the GoFundMe as of December 3, 2014. Since receiving this bill, my uncle sent to Esplin Weight another $2,000 payment using his credit card on Monday, December 1st, which payment comes directly from your GoFundMe contributions. I will include proof of this $2,000 payment to this post when I get the receipt from Esplin Weight. This payment will also be reflected in my next statement by Esplin Weight that I will share here with you when I get it. So that means that since three days ago, my current amount due Esplin Weight is $12,235 ($2,235 for past work already done, and $10,000 for work they will do going forward). I still desperately need your help.
So to recap:
$9,235 Legal fees incurred to date by Esplin Weight
($5,000) Retainer paid to and used by Esplin Weight
$10,000 Estimated additional fees needed
($2,000) Payment made to Esplin Weight on Dec 1, 2014
$12,235 Amount currently due Esplin Weight today.
This is far below what I need to raise to continue to pay my attorneys' fees. But, again, I want to express my gratitude to all who have contributed. I want you to know that the money you have donated was and is needed, and appreciated, and it has not been wasted or used for any other purpose than to help me and my sisters in our legal battle to keep them safe and protected.
December 1, 2014
Not Teenage Whim
I have felt the need for some time to address multiple comments I've seen (the majority on my dad's Facebook pages) that suggest that my sisters are simply teenagers who "just want to live with our mom" and who should basically suck it up and just come to terms with living in Kansas. This is so offensive to me, and dangerously ignorant to suggest such a thing. I'm sure it's even more offensive to Sydney and Dani, who have literally put their lives in danger by speaking out.
Who are these people? Why would they want anyone to go to a place they know is harmful? I've seen some comments describing this as "willful denial" and that's a perfect description of these comments. I would like to give a message to those who are posting against my sisters who have a knowledge of the abuse: You are supporting the abuse of these innocent girls. You are fighting to return them to my father, who is the cause of their abuse, and who will certainly abuse them further.
I can tell that many of my father's supporters do not know what it feels like to live under the extreme and obsessive control of someone who uses isolation, triangulation, physical violence, anger, fear tactics, and punishment to control everyone in his house. I have spent 19 years in constant fear and anxiety about what he might do to me, my sisters, my mom, and my stepmom. Just because I'm out of the house doesn't mean I can forget about my family members that are still having to deal with that on a daily basis.
I have presented multiple forms of evidence that my dad is abusive, and yet many refuse to believe it and seem anxious to silence me and my sisters. Many vocally discount my words and the words of my sisters, on behalf of my abuser. It really shocks me when I see it.
I cannot be more clear about this truth. Our mother is not our abuser. Many of you who have posted against my sisters have convinced yourselves and others that you are actually fighting to protect my sisters from my mother. The truth is here: she has not brainwashed us to hate our dad. My dad's abuse hasn't even caused us to hate him. But it has caused us to run from his abuse. We are not lying about this. This is not a game of hide-and-seek being played. This is not an issue of teenage whim. This is a scary, possibly life-threatening situation where our abuser is relentlessly trying to find my sisters and get them returned to him before they can speak up in court.
I know that it is absolutely 100% NOT SAFE for Sydney and Dani to go back there now that they have exposed him after years of living in the shadow of fear he cast on us. Certainly Sydney and Dani themselves know it's not safe, or else they'd be here now. No child deserves anything less than a safe home. It is clear, based on his actions since my sisters ran away, that my dad is desperate to silence my sisters and me.
Please help us.
Who are these people? Why would they want anyone to go to a place they know is harmful? I've seen some comments describing this as "willful denial" and that's a perfect description of these comments. I would like to give a message to those who are posting against my sisters who have a knowledge of the abuse: You are supporting the abuse of these innocent girls. You are fighting to return them to my father, who is the cause of their abuse, and who will certainly abuse them further.
I can tell that many of my father's supporters do not know what it feels like to live under the extreme and obsessive control of someone who uses isolation, triangulation, physical violence, anger, fear tactics, and punishment to control everyone in his house. I have spent 19 years in constant fear and anxiety about what he might do to me, my sisters, my mom, and my stepmom. Just because I'm out of the house doesn't mean I can forget about my family members that are still having to deal with that on a daily basis.
I have presented multiple forms of evidence that my dad is abusive, and yet many refuse to believe it and seem anxious to silence me and my sisters. Many vocally discount my words and the words of my sisters, on behalf of my abuser. It really shocks me when I see it.
My sisters and I have been abused over the entire course of our lives.
Our abuser is our father.
I cannot be more clear about this truth. Our mother is not our abuser. Many of you who have posted against my sisters have convinced yourselves and others that you are actually fighting to protect my sisters from my mother. The truth is here: she has not brainwashed us to hate our dad. My dad's abuse hasn't even caused us to hate him. But it has caused us to run from his abuse. We are not lying about this. This is not a game of hide-and-seek being played. This is not an issue of teenage whim. This is a scary, possibly life-threatening situation where our abuser is relentlessly trying to find my sisters and get them returned to him before they can speak up in court.
I know that it is absolutely 100% NOT SAFE for Sydney and Dani to go back there now that they have exposed him after years of living in the shadow of fear he cast on us. Certainly Sydney and Dani themselves know it's not safe, or else they'd be here now. No child deserves anything less than a safe home. It is clear, based on his actions since my sisters ran away, that my dad is desperate to silence my sisters and me.
Please help us.
November 23, 2014
Documents Page
FYI,
I have added a new documents page to the list of Pages found at the top of my blog, to help you become informed with actual supporting documents relating to the history of the court struggles with my dad. Please go through it. Reading the documents will help you to see why I am continuing to fight to protect all of my sisters. I will add more applicable documents as they get found.
Here are the links you will find today on my Documents Page:
Roby Report Complete April 2003
Dr Harnsberger Diagnosis Sydney Celiac 12 Sep 2007
Letter from Dr Hyde re Michelle 21 May 2007
I have added a new documents page to the list of Pages found at the top of my blog, to help you become informed with actual supporting documents relating to the history of the court struggles with my dad. Please go through it. Reading the documents will help you to see why I am continuing to fight to protect all of my sisters. I will add more applicable documents as they get found.
Here are the links you will find today on my Documents Page:
Roby Report Complete April 2003
Dr Harnsberger Diagnosis Sydney Celiac 12 Sep 2007
Letter from Dr Hyde re Michelle 21 May 2007
November 21, 2014
November 19, 2014
Moving to Kansas
I know there are a lot of people with very valid questions about what happened this July. This is the post to answer any questions that haven't been addressed directly about what's occurred recently in Sydney and Dani's lives.
About this time last year, my dad and stepmother resided in Pleasant Grove, Utah. Over Dani's birthday weekend (her birthday is October 29th), my dad made a life-altering announcement to Sydney and Danielle. During their next weekend visit to our mom in Orem, it was obvious they were holding something in. They were depressed; they looked sickly, worried, and terrified. My mom and I would ask them what was wrong, and all they would do is look at us with a deep sadness and reply, "He said we couldn't tell you. I want to tell you because its my worst nightmare, but we would get in so much trouble. I don't know if I could handle it."
I went to a family dinner one evening a few weeks later with his side of the family. Even though I had no clue what was going on, I sensed something wasn't right from the moment I walked in the doors of the restaurant. It felt like there was an 'elephant in the room'; no one kept eye contact with me very long and it felt like something was being repressed. Everyone was very solemn. Despite the brightly colored walls, the entire room had a claustrophobic and eerie feel.
As soon as my dad greeted me, he locked his eyes on me, and didn't let me leave his sight as I continued to greet everyone else. When I saw Sydney and Dani, I was so excited to see my sisters. I practically ran up to them, only to have my dad come near us. It was obvious he didn't want us talking outside of his earshot. I was used to this--it was the way we were treated in our home, before I moved out--But it didn't make it okay. Even with the limited contact I had with them, I could tell something was wrong. Dani and Sydney looked sick and hopeless. Their faces were sunken and their eyes were glassy, as if they'd been crying minutes before.
I was extremely worried for them, and whatever information they were being forced to keep secret. I wanted to sit by them (they were at a table with cousins), but my dad wouldn't let me. He took me to my designated seat, and of course it was on the opposite side of the room from them, at the far table's end seat. He sat across from me, and his reasoning was because he had something to tell me.
I was on edge; terrified of some looming announcement that had been tormenting my sweet sisters for weeks. My dad kept prepping me with statements like, "Brittany, you're going to have to have an open mind. It's a big change for our family, but it's a good one." I had no idea what it could be. I was hopeful Angie was going to announce she was pregnant again, but based off of the way my sisters acted, I knew that wasn't it.
At some point, I knew I would have to break away and find a chance to talk to Sydney and Dani out of earshot of my father (if he was able to hear our conversation, I knew they would repress how they really felt). Somehow, I made it quickly to the other side of the room while my dad was talking to someone else. His eyes shifted to me, but he wasn't able to reach me before I quickly asked the girls what was going on. They were on the verge of tears as they expressed that they felt they were about to explode from grief. "We can't tell you exactly," Dani said, "But it's about a move." My insides dropped. That was when a cousin, who hadn't been listening to our conversation and obviously thought my dad had already told me, accidentally slipped up: "Brittany, what do you think about your dad moving to Kansas?"
I was absolutely shocked. Speechless, I moved my gaze back to my sisters, as a tear ran down one of their cheeks. The cousin realized that I hadn't been told yet, and apologized... Before Syd and Dani were able to say another word, my dad walked over. "What are you girls whispering about?" The girls said it was just something about school, and he looked at us suspiciously, and I sat in painful agony for those girls.
About this time last year, my dad and stepmother resided in Pleasant Grove, Utah. Over Dani's birthday weekend (her birthday is October 29th), my dad made a life-altering announcement to Sydney and Danielle. During their next weekend visit to our mom in Orem, it was obvious they were holding something in. They were depressed; they looked sickly, worried, and terrified. My mom and I would ask them what was wrong, and all they would do is look at us with a deep sadness and reply, "He said we couldn't tell you. I want to tell you because its my worst nightmare, but we would get in so much trouble. I don't know if I could handle it."
I went to a family dinner one evening a few weeks later with his side of the family. Even though I had no clue what was going on, I sensed something wasn't right from the moment I walked in the doors of the restaurant. It felt like there was an 'elephant in the room'; no one kept eye contact with me very long and it felt like something was being repressed. Everyone was very solemn. Despite the brightly colored walls, the entire room had a claustrophobic and eerie feel.
As soon as my dad greeted me, he locked his eyes on me, and didn't let me leave his sight as I continued to greet everyone else. When I saw Sydney and Dani, I was so excited to see my sisters. I practically ran up to them, only to have my dad come near us. It was obvious he didn't want us talking outside of his earshot. I was used to this--it was the way we were treated in our home, before I moved out--But it didn't make it okay. Even with the limited contact I had with them, I could tell something was wrong. Dani and Sydney looked sick and hopeless. Their faces were sunken and their eyes were glassy, as if they'd been crying minutes before.
I was extremely worried for them, and whatever information they were being forced to keep secret. I wanted to sit by them (they were at a table with cousins), but my dad wouldn't let me. He took me to my designated seat, and of course it was on the opposite side of the room from them, at the far table's end seat. He sat across from me, and his reasoning was because he had something to tell me.
I was on edge; terrified of some looming announcement that had been tormenting my sweet sisters for weeks. My dad kept prepping me with statements like, "Brittany, you're going to have to have an open mind. It's a big change for our family, but it's a good one." I had no idea what it could be. I was hopeful Angie was going to announce she was pregnant again, but based off of the way my sisters acted, I knew that wasn't it.
At some point, I knew I would have to break away and find a chance to talk to Sydney and Dani out of earshot of my father (if he was able to hear our conversation, I knew they would repress how they really felt). Somehow, I made it quickly to the other side of the room while my dad was talking to someone else. His eyes shifted to me, but he wasn't able to reach me before I quickly asked the girls what was going on. They were on the verge of tears as they expressed that they felt they were about to explode from grief. "We can't tell you exactly," Dani said, "But it's about a move." My insides dropped. That was when a cousin, who hadn't been listening to our conversation and obviously thought my dad had already told me, accidentally slipped up: "Brittany, what do you think about your dad moving to Kansas?"
I was absolutely shocked. Speechless, I moved my gaze back to my sisters, as a tear ran down one of their cheeks. The cousin realized that I hadn't been told yet, and apologized... Before Syd and Dani were able to say another word, my dad walked over. "What are you girls whispering about?" The girls said it was just something about school, and he looked at us suspiciously, and I sat in painful agony for those girls.
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