Dad says this happened to him on his LDS mission, and he would tell it to us regularly since we were 10, 6 and 5 years old. My dad claimed that one day he was separated and alone from his missionary companion. (Everyone knows mission companions are supposed to be together always, and not ever be alone).
Dad told us that he went into his apartment, where there was a beautiful Brazilian woman waiting to get him alone. He would tell us how this woman undressed in front of him until she was completely naked, tempting him. He told us that the beautiful naked woman "jumped on top of him and attacked him" when he tried to escape. He liked to say it took him a "long time to fight her off" and that "it was really hard to do because she was so attractive," but that he eventually resisted and "got away."
My dad told us that he came home from his mission early 'honorably.' From a young girl's perspective, I was always confused as to why he kept telling us this story and why he was sent home early, if he didn't have sexual relations with the Brazilian lady he spoke of. I don't recall him ever telling us the story around Angie or my mom.
The obscene details of this story are hardly something a parent should describe to a child once, let alone repeat multiple times over the years to one’s very young daughters. I wish I could forget it.
Photo credit: www.ethanrwilkinson.com
I dated a guy who served in Brazil and he admitted to me that one day he planned to meet a girl in his apartment while his companion was away and they were intimate together. He made an excuse to go home alone. He never told his mission president and served the remainder of his mission knowing he was sexually attracted to this woman amd had acted upon that. He later traveled to Brazil and met up with the same girl... at that time they were further intimate. I've heard the women in Brazil are more aggressive towards missionaries, however... your fathers story sounds too familiar. I don't believe he couldn't fight her off. I don't believe these girls just break in and start undressing. I believe some missionaries decide to hook up with women they meet and they blame it on temptation. By telling you this story... he was probably trying to ease his guilty conscious. He unloaded on children about a sexual experience... which is so inappropriate and gross.
ReplyDeleteThat's all that my sisters and I could ever figure.
DeleteIf this is Brian Wolferts' way of coming clean and easing his guilty conscious then that experience you shared about your dad talking about child pornography while relating himself and your baby sister Abbigal just makes me sick to my stomach. I went and re-read that experience you posted again before writing this and I swear it seems like he unloading his guilt on you. Ug. Feel so bad for you girls. Keep up the good work Brittany.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate that so much, thank you.
DeleteIf this story is true, which I somehow doubt, Brian Wolferts could have slammed back out the door the second he opened it and saw a stranger in his apartment. But he did not do this in the story he chose to tell his young daughters. He planted an R-rated story into their minds just as vivid and graphic as if he had taken them to the movies and fed them popcorn while they watched.
ReplyDeleteThat is, indeed, what it felt like to us.
DeleteBrittany! You are so strong! and so Brave! You show your strength in your writing!
ReplyDeleteThe problem with these mind games is Brian is talking in double speak. He is relating graphic images to groom his daughters and gauge their responses and to gratify his own over sexuality. But he is claiming to tell theses stories to be good. In the post about child pornography he can claim he was just trying to educate his daughter on the evils of child pornography. And indeed his double speak did set it up in a very confusing way, especially for a child. In this story on the mission he is telling the story to claim how pure and good he was. He is claiming he fought her off, she attacked him, he had nothing to do with this. In this twisted communication he is both talking about pornographic images in an inappropriate way to his daughters and putting himself on the good pedestal for resisting it. This is a very confused layered communication used to groom his daughters and play mind games with them.
I couldn't have explained what he was doing better than that. You put into words exactly how my sisters and I felt our entire lives with him. It was always very difficult to describe when we'd try to speak about it, because of the 'double speak' you write of. He is very intelligent and knows what he is doing to us, while he can write it off to everyone else as been lessons for our benefit.
DeleteExcellent observations from Mia and Lisa. Think about it: what are the odds that Brian would be separated from his companion AND return alone to his apartment AND find a woman inside AND fail to immediately leave AND stand helplessly by while she stripped to nothing AND fight valiantly against her beauty and passion AND escape unscathed AND get "honorably" released early??? I'm going to say zero.
ReplyDeleteHi Brittany, my heart aches for you and your sisters. I have also survived an abusive situation with my father. I am 31 and still amazed at the things that continually resurface, that seemed insignificant at the time, but now as an adult I recognize the perversion and sickness of the manipulation and brainwashing that I endured. To me, it sounds like grandiosity, like he was trying to portray himself in a positive light. Like look at me, I was able to be morally responsible when a woman broke in, and tried to seduce me. It was hard but I said no.. It doesn't even cross his mind that its inappropriate subject matter because you guys are his property, to do whatever he wishes.the truth is, you will never understand or be able to contemplate the whys of his behavior. You cant find reason in it, because you are of a sound mind. As soon as you are able with your sisters through the healing process. Stop trying to understand and start to let things go. "When you are walking through hell, keep on going!"
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