December 9, 2014

Why I Think My Sisters Are Safe

Over the years, when my sisters and I would get a moment of privacy (which was actually very rare, and difficult to do because my dad and Angie religiously kept us from having any time alone even at home), we often fantasized about escaping dad's house because of the abuse, control, and terror we were forced to endure daily. We all felt a strong need to be free of that environment. I had asked them if they would rather have me move out and seek help for them, or stay with our dad's consistent monitoring in a situation where I wouldn't be able to fight for their voices. They knew I could help them find safety if I left when I turned 18. They deserve to live a life free of Dad's abuse. This fact will always be true.

My sisters made no secret to me of wanting to tell the court what we have been forced to endure, and they also made no secret of talking about how they would feel the need to run away if the court didn't listen and sent them back to our dad after they told on him. They never divulged details or strategies with me, but I believe they would have looked into it and would have planned it intelligently. They are smart girls, and they are familiar with shelters because we had to live in shelters before with our mom when Dad's abuse was unbearable.

Imagine being in my sisters' shoes. They, like many of the people who are interested in this story, just couldn't imagine that a Juvenile Court judge would see our petition and our supporting document from Dr. Hyde and not protect them. Yet that is exactly what happened, and it really does feel surreal and unbelievable. I am working hard to get the court to reconsider the plight of my sisters and the danger the court has put them in.

Do I think my mom is hiding with them? I don't know. I certainly hope so. I hope that if she is with them and protecting them like I believe she is doing, that the courts are lenient and understanding of her necessary act of protecting her daughters from the abuse the court enabled. I also hope that upon reading or hearing the truth about my father, that the courts will find themselves less able to continue to side with our abuser and less able to inflict further injustice and abuse against his victims (including my mom). 

My mom has always been a constant source of loving kindness and support in our lives. She is a good mother and has been our one source of healthy parenting and our most immediate example of Christlike love and compassion. She does not abuse us, nor does she seek to besmirch our dad to us. She understands what pain life with dad involves, because she lived it, too. She listens to us when we vent our frustration and pain about our abuse, but she does not tell us what to feel or what to do. She did not turn us against our dad--his abuse did. She tried to help us navigate our dismay and our fear as well as she could, getting us therapy and teaching us to pray for help and to practice patience and protect ourselves as best we could. She has always sought to help us be happy despite the horrible custody decision the court made years ago. 
My mom isn't perfect, but these decisions she has repeatedly made to spare us as much pain as possible from my dad's abusive techniques made all the difference. 


  1. What an amazing mother you ladies have! I, too, hope she's with them and that they are safe. I am so glad you girls are away from the abuse. Now to save Angie and her daughter.
    I hope you get to present all of this in court and I hope he does jail time. As much as you girls love Angie, she may face jail time too for helping him cover up abuse. She needs to stop lying to everyone.

    1. I also hope we get to present all of this in court. So far, there still hasn't been an opportunity, but I keep hoping.
      I hope nobody has to go to jail. I hope that my dad will show a true desire to be in his daughter's lives (even if supervised), by taking full accountability for his past and present actions, seeking the help he desperately needs, and changing. Sadly, my hopes for him have not been a reality thus far. He will continue to make choices that will lead to consequences for those actions.

  2. Your mom is a hero!

    1. Thank you (in her behalf) :) I certainly agree.