Brian's Abuse In Summary

First off, today the page views hit 90,000. How incredible! In only four months, this blog has been able to spread my sister's true story across the country (and even internationally). I wouldn't be where I am today without each one of you who has come to read this collection of my family's experiences. Thank you.

As I discussed in my last post, here is a summary of all the abuse that I've put on this blog thus far. It's taken me a while to get it together and put it in order of occurrence, which isn't organized entirely accurately since the majority of my father's abuse was continual throughout the years. (For example, the abuse listed under "After Custody Change" were things he had been doing before the custody change, too). I felt that it was important to refresh these posts, since there are so many facts and stories that have been forgotten with time. 

The list is long, but very informative. I recommend heading to each link for a complete description of abuse if there are any questions, since these are just summarized bullet points. Also, don't forget--there's a Documents tab, a Timeline, an About section, a Q&A tab (you can always comment with valid questions), a link to the Roby Report, the Custody Report, and a tab for the Random Memories.

Pre-Custody Change

-A very detailed list of the different ways our dad has abused us (from when we were toddlers til present day).

-The facts that show my dad is the alienator, and that my mom never tried to isolate us from him as he did to her. This one is a deep read, but I feel that it's definitely a post to bring back from the past since my dad continues to try and convince people that my mom is who he actually is.

-Our dad would repeatedly tell us about a naked woman attacking him to have sex with him on his mission in Brazil. He started telling us this story when we were 10, 5, and 6 years old. Sydney, Dani and I always got the feeling when he told it that he was getting some kind of sick thrill in telling us inappropriate things and forcing us to picture related images in our minds.

-My dad would often tell my sisters and me detailed and very graphic stories of crimes against women. These stories would terrify us and although we would ask him to stop, he took pleasure in making us uncomfortable and frightened.

Custody Change (May 2010)

"I Had No Idea"

Here is an excerpt from a letter my grandma Judy wrote to my mom's lawyer dated Oct 2, 2004:

"Today, 17 days after her telling me that Brian served her with divorce papers & filling me in with so much that happened since they got married -- I am still reeling. I had NO idea. She told us nothing. I always felt she was protecting him -- but I thought it was just from "little stuff" -- nothing so devastating & humiliating as what he has put her through. I honor her courage, persistence, devotion, love, & loyalty & her clear clear vision & desire to help another human being. I haven't had a clue, however, all this time, as to the horrendous struggle that has been taking place. Not only was this an incredibly negative situation, she received no support from his family, as they apparently blamed it on "relationship problems" & were unwilling to deal with their son on a deeper level. Michelle, incredible as it still is to  me, was always supportive -- 100% -- & only said good things about him. That's why this has all been such a shock to all of us."

My mom didn't want to tell her family and closest friends that she was an abused woman--just like so many other victims of domestic violence do.

Blessings

I have been blessed in so many ways since going public with my family situation. I feel that it would be impossible to count all the ways I have been helped by generous and loving friends, family, and also people I've not met yet--people who have touched my life in ways I never anticipated since my sisters ran away in July.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all the people who have donated to my gofundme to help me in my ongoing legal battle to determine a safe custody arrangement for my sisters. An update will be posted soon. Your continued support is a vital part of my fight against the injustice of my sisters since the courts sent us to live with our abusive father.

Other costs have come up unexpectedly, the most recent cost being my mom's vehicle. Your immediate support of me when I placed my artwork for sale has enabled me to pay for removal of the boot that was placed on Mom's van (that was parked where she last lived in Orem before her disappearance).

On Pain and Suffering

The past eight months have been full of lessons and blessings and extreme hardships. One lesson I have become familiar with is that you cannot have joy in life without pain. There are always lows and highs.

I have learned to let pain shape me into a better person, which can only happen if one embraces it. It's not something you can ignore or run from. You must rely on faith to work through it. The beauty in this is that trials that test your faith can become priceless experiences.

A quote that I love:

Here, then, is a great truth. In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner’s fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact, and strong. In this way the divine image can be mirrored from the soul...

Into every life there come the painful, despairing days of adversity and buffeting. There seems to be a full measure of anguish, sorrow, and often heartbreak for everyone, including those who earnestly seek to do right and be faithful. 

-James E. Faust, "The Refining Fire"

In every trial, there is a choice we must make. We can let the hardship consume us, or we can let it soften our hearts. If you choose the first, you will become bitter and hateful; if you choose the second, you will become more spiritually receptive and understanding. 

I've made my choice to continually strive to allow pain and hardship make me the better person. I refuse to be a victim of my dad's abuse--my sisters and I will be victors. 

Art Prints

I've decided to sell prints of my original art piece Red Storm printed on 12" x 8" matte stock paper to help support myself during this time. This print is only $25 plus $5 shipping and handling (within the continental United States. International shipping can be quoted separately via email). Orders can be placed via Paypal through my art blog here, or through the button below.

Please consider buying a print of my drawing. I'm selling them to help me pay for my mom's van that was booted last week. I'm trying to pay the $150 before they tow it (just one more thing that had to happen). I plan to continue to create art to sell during this time, and any additional funds I raise through sales will help me with personal expenses that are mounting as I focus on the legal work in trying to get my petition heard. I so want it to ensure my sisters a safe living arrangement established through official channels. In addition to personal expenses, I plan to channel what I make into the legal donations as well.

On more of a personal note: when I create art, I can't help but think of my sisters. Sydney and Dani are little artists. Ever since I can remember, when I'd start drawing, they'd be whipping out a paper and pencil at my side. Every time I won an award through school or the community while we lived at mom's, Syd and Dani were right next to me with their own ribbons and beaming faces. However many times we were prevented from pursuing art over the past four years after custody changed to our dad, we will always have our love for drawing and painting. I feel that it is time for me to utilize that love again.

As ever, your support means so much to me. I can't tell you how much I value all of your supportive comments, concern, and emotional and physical support. I pray that your kindness is returned in measurable ways.

Brittany

Thoughts

As of right now as I publish this post, my blog has reached 80,237 views.

In spite of all the negativity and anger that has been thrown at me and anyone who chooses to support the girls and I, I can see the good evolving from this. Eventually, none of the nasty remarks and speculations on our life will matter. 

The following outcome is a given: My spiritually and mentally mature sisters will continue to grow up and make their own choices regarding their own safety and what is best for them. They will make decisions regarding where Dad fits in their futures, and they will set their boundaries. As they should. No matter what gets speculated about our mom, the actual truth is she did not alienate us from our dad. He did. His abuse, inappropriate sexual behavior, controlling, unrighteous dominion, and behavior are what drove us away from him.