My dad often made me feel highly uncomfortable in ways that were hard to pinpoint exactly--ways that brought a creepy feeling of disgust. Sometimes he would look me up and down and comment about how he felt certain clothing items complemented my body. One time I got a new pair of jeans for school. When I got home he asked me to show him and Angie the pants, and when I did, he talked about the way my jeans hugged my hips and thighs. "Whoa, Brittany," He said, "I didn’t know you had hips. Those jeans really show them off. You shouldn’t wear those anywhere, they’ll make boys think bad thoughts."
He would look at my body in a way that made me feel like he was undressing me with his eyes and made me highly uncomfortable. I immediately felt that I couldn’t wear those jeans around him, because he would stare at my hips and butt. After that, Angie wouldn't allow me to wear those jeans again... She seemed upset at what he said, and I didn't understand why.
My dad constantly told me I was 'putting bad thoughts in boys' minds,' whether it was the kind of bra I wore to my choice of pants. (And I feel the need to add that I was one of the most modest-dressed girls at school. You can ask any of my high school friends.) It didn't seem to matter what I wore or what I did--I was putting naughty thoughts in men's mind. That had an absolutely disturbing effect on me and the way I perceived myself. To this day, I can't decide what is worse--feeling like my dad wanted to see through my clothes or feeling like I was constantly walking porn to other boys.