January 5, 2016

Brian's Reaction

Today I was asked by one of the news reporters, "What do you think your dad will say when he begins interviewing, and what is your response to that?" I decided that this would be very important to post.

1) He will continue to claim brainwashing. Our entire lives my dad's main response to anything we've stated against him has been "they're brainwashed by their mother" and/or "they're lying". He has also told people that I am manipulative, a liar, am trying to ruin his life. So of course I know this will be the response to any media when asked about the abuse allegations all three of us have made against him.

2) My dad is talking about sending the girls into therapy. I would like to talk about what he means when he says "therapy", and what kind of therapy he put them/me in before. Not long after the custody change to my dad in 2010, my dad put us in therapy at a place called the Greenhouse in Pleasant Grove, Utah (where we were living). He told us that our church ward was paying. It was apparent from the beginning to all three of us that he had influenced the counseling center to believe that we had been brainwashed by our mother, and that the purpose of counseling was to reverse that. We were guided to talk about our mother and if we brought up anything our father was doing, we were directed back to the subject of our mom. It was obvious that he was closely updating how the sessions were going and what was said during our meetings, which were supposed to be completely private. 

Not long after starting, all of our counselors began saying, "It feels like there is an elephant in the room. There is something that is being held back". We knew in our minds and hearts that it was our father's abuse that we were going through at that very moment and we wanted to talk about it so badly. We were in pain because while we suffered abuse in my father's home we were being treated for healing from non-existent brainwashing against him and repairing our relationship with our father. What we needed was healing from current abuse we were experiencing at home caused by our dad. I can't speak specifically for Sydney and Danielle's counselors, but the girls did confide in me that the following circumstances happened similar for them:

After many months of being in counseling we began opening up completely to our counselors. We expressed what was happening at home and also expressed how terrified we were that everything we were saying was being relayed to our dad. They validated our concerns and promised that they would keep our statements confidential. From that moment on, things changed. We spoke freely about past and present abuse, including the physical, emotional, mental, and even sexual discomforts we felt around him. Our counselors listened and offered references for healing and help. My counselor said the "elephant in the room" feeling was finally gone, and we were "finally getting somewhere". We built relationships of trust with our counselors, and counseling became a safe place of healing and a place where we could prepare for the trauma in the weeks to come. I used techniques such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) to work through past abuse. They offered books, videos, and resources to work through everything. We felt stronger because we finally had people who were listening and helping!

We noticed our father become more and more agitated. After every meeting with our counselors, he would pull us aside individually for interrogating that would sometimes last hours at a time. He became obsessive because he didn't know what we were saying to our counselors anymore. When he would demand to know what we talked about, we would respond with, "We aren't supposed to talk about it" and he would escalate in anger and say, "Yes you are! It won't work unless you tell me what you're saying!" He would question us and pressure us relentlessly, pushing Syd and Dani to tears and sobbing on multiple occasions that I witnessed. As time continued to pass he started saying, "YOU aren't allowing therapy to work because YOU aren't being honest with your counselors". We knew he was afraid of what we were saying because he knew the truth.

We would express what he was doing to our counselors and how it was scaring us and draining us. They said that it was completely wrong for him to interrogate us about our private counseling sessions, but he didn't stop. When I turned 18 I was no longer covered under the payment that had been set up and I left counseling when I moved out. Sydney and Danielle continued therapy until my dad took them out despite the counselor's pleas to continue (I have email correspondence recorded of this situation). Syd and Dani told me that they felt he took them out of therapy because he knew they were actually finding healing through it and they were depressed when they could no longer confide in them.

When my dad says he is going to put them in "therapy", I fear greatly for the girls because all three of us know EXACTLY what he means by that.

3) When Brian says "They're not in a good emotional or mental state", he is exactly right and this is why: they were ripped from the safety of our mother's presence and not allowed to communicate with her or me. My mom confided in me that the girls were completely traumatized and sobbing when the police separated them yesterday at around 2 A.M in the morning. Sydney and Dani are filled with dread at having to go back to living with their abuser. The police haven't released any info other than the fact that they're "holding them until their dad comes to get them". It kills me to be constantly thinking of the state they are in right now, knowing that they are being sent straight back to him.

4) He will discuss the things he's done for us, in attempts to overshadow the abuse. Another response that he has made in the past is talking about the fun things or vacations we did as a family. I do have fond memories of activities and trips we went on with dad and Angie. He enjoyed the outdoors and we enjoyed going camping, however because he has taken us on family trips does not excuse the physical, emotional and mental abuse he has perpetrated against us that has left irreparable harm. That would be the same as saying, "I beat up my child, but we go to Disneyland and took lots of smiling pictures together". (Keep in mind that we would be punished if we ever appeared sad, distressed, or unhappy in the slightest.)

5) He says he wants there to be a slow transition and process, but he wants to get them to Kansas to have complete control over anything that happens past this point. In a recent interview, my dad stated that he was in contact with Kansas, and 'trying' to contact Utah. During the past eighteen months he has NEVER offered any form of safe asylum for the girls to stay in Utah. Even when his own family asked to take them in while things were figured out, he said no. He desires complete control over the situation and to move them to Kansas ASAP. Sydney and Dani lived in Kansas for less than 6 months and need to go through authorities here in Utah where they have lived their entire lives.

More points on the girls' safety:

Their emotional health is vital, and "their best interest" is letting them tell a court about abuse openly! Not being held to only communicate with their abuser and letting their abuser dictate all the terms of "their best interest".

Psychologist Dr. Hyde's statement (found on the documents tab) discusses how Sydney and Dani would "be severely emotionally harmed if they were restored to the physical custody of their father... Without any equivocation, it is my professional opinion that regardless of the statutory or equitable criteria used to determine what is in the "best interest" of S.W. and D.W., it is not the best interest of S.W. and D.W. to be ordered to return to their father, Mr. Wolferts, until a more thorough and complete assessment and intervention is involved."

I feel strongly to link again to the post describing my father's abuse, and another with a detailed summary of the abuse. There is a reason that my dad's account and my sisters' accounts of our situation don't add up. There is no question that the truth will come out in the end, but the question I'm wondering is: how much more trauma will the girls be put through before they're able to be heard in court?? 


  1. You and your sisters' story is tragic. It makes me so sad to read. My sisters and I were in a similar situation with our parents' divorce, however it was my mom that acted strangely like your dad. It was way rough- a 3 year custody battle which involved multiple custody evaluations that allowed all 9 kids in my family to speak to a couple different psychologists. Luckily, my dad fought til the bitter end for our voices to be heard. I hope and pray for you girls' sake that justice will prevail and your sisters will be able to finally be at peace for good and be close to the family they love and trust. All I know is that with time, it WILL get better. Even if your dad does not receive the punishment he deserves in this life, someday Heavenly Father will see that he is responsible for what he has done. Keep your head up girl! And keep fighting for your little sisters- they need you! You're amazing!

  2. Your sisters have been in my thoughts since I heard about this. I am praying for you and sharing their REAL story. Just want you to know you are being heard, and many people support you and want these girls and EVERYONE to be free from this man. You are all very strong women. Keep fighting.

  3. Thank you, Brittany, for all you are doing and saying on your sisters' behalf. These girls are nearly adults, and know what they want. They should not be forced behind closed doors, where this abuse will not be seen. I pray that someone one with common sense will allow them a voice.

  4. What a GREAT post in speaking out and telling the truth!!!! This is my fear as well, having read about others, like yourselves, where "Therapy" was used against the victims of abuse, and of the family court system.....

    I will keep praying that the right officials will be involved in this case.

  5. Family courts in Utah are aware of what went wrong. That's why dad relocated to Kansas to play out this evil power play to control daughters he can never own. Half a million kids, this past year, had their lives disrupted by family courts in U.S., doing what courts knew to be wrong, but unlike Utah, make no attempt to turn things around. Stacy speaks of a mom as abusive as this dad, but in most cases where kids are stolen, courts punish the protective mom, terminate her rights, deny further contact with mom, or both parents where children are stolen by child protective services (CPS), to place in foster homes or to fill adoptive home quotas, for patronage in each case.

  6. I wish they would stop using the word "dad".