I was sickened that he was trying to taint me and plant indecent images in my mind. His inappropriate behaviors made me feel impure through no fault of my own. I prayed to god in my mind to make my dad stop. The feeling in the room was dark and heavy, and it was emulating from my dad. “Dad, stop!” I said as firmly as I could. He seemed pleased with the amount of pain he’d caused me, and the inappropriate sexual acts that he’d forced into my mind without actually showing me porn on a screen. I wondered why he had such a desire to talk to me about this, and I wondered why he seemed so interested in child pornography or how he knew so much.
He finally let me leave the room. Afterward, I felt sick with repugnance and I was exhausted. I want so badly to forget about everything he told me about child pornography, and yet I can't. Just writing this out makes me feel sick.
I feel the need to add that going back to these memories is extremely painful, and as I stated before, sickening. I had hoped that I would only have to endure it once, but in order to write it out I have to put myself back to that dark place. Anyone who is invested in this case in any way deserves the truth. I'm grateful to those who have been supportive, and those who have donated. I will be posting financial updates as they come. I'm also so grateful for all the prayers on the girls' behalf.
Love to all,