Random Memory #4: Abby's Punishment

This was one of the first times I remember Angie completely disagreeing with dad’s “punishment methods” to Abby. I don’t remember what Abby was doing to be referred to as being “unreasonable,” I think she was just being a normal toddler and not wanting to get ready for bedtime. Dad had (and still has) a method of ripping Abby away from everyone, especially Angie, and going into another room to “calm her down.”

This happened on the evening of Oct 21st, 2012. As usual, Abby started screaming and sobbing much, much louder when he came for her, and Angie expressed that she didn’t think it was necessary to punish Abby that way. She (Angie) asked Dad to keep Abby with her or something, and he got very angry with Angie and said things that he often did: “I raised three daughters, I know what I’m doing” “I’ve been a parent before and you haven’t” “You don’t know how to calm her down” “Have you taken care of a baby before?” etc. Angie was actually adamant this time, which happened rarely, and again expressed her disagreement with Dad’s punishment method and didn’t think it was necessary. One of us, or all of us (I can’t remember) agreed and said we didn’t think Abby needed that, that she could calm down on her own. 

He was infuriated with Angie for standing up and with us for agreeing with her, and took Abby anyway. Abby screamed very loud as usual. It took a long time to hear dad stop yelling at Abby behind the door and for her to “calm down,” which meant for her to stop crying. (She basically stopped crying when she was too exhausted to cry any more). When he came out of the room, he had an attitude of “See? She calmed down. It worked.” He was still upset with Angie because we went along with her, and that night I heard him talking to Angie for a long time—at least an hour—very angrily to put her in her place. My bedroom was below theirs, and I heard her crying. 

The incident was minimized the next morning. On our way to school, Angie sent this text to all three of us from her work. We were surprised that she was taking so much fault, and I knew that Dad made Angie text us because of their talk the night before.

Good Morning Girls. Sorry if you overheard ur dad and I disagreeing about how to deal with Abby being unreasonable last night. I over reacted and said things I shouldn’t have, Abby was out of control and ur dad did a great job calming her down and getting her ready for bed despite her biting and smacking him like 50 times.  Ur dad is a great man and is very good with Abby even with her being very unreasonable. Please help support him getting Abby ready and out the door this morning. Thanks. Luv U! Have a great day.  Tues. Oct. 22, 2012 7:00am. 

Ur dad luvs and wants the best for all his girls and is committed to ur happiness and success.  Many men just get wrapped up in their own hobbies and interests but ur dad is directly involved in and genuinely interested in ur lives. U girls are blessed to have a father who loves you so much and has sacrificed so much for your happiness and success in life. ☺ Tues. Oct. 22, 2012 7:05am. 

Im moody and I often say and do things that are not reasonable and are rude or hurtful when I am hormonal. Sorry. Ur dad did a good job with Abby, im the problem. Tues. Oct. 22, 2012 7:05am.  [Spelling and grammar as in original text]

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