January 28, 2015

Dr. Phil

In the end of November, I was approached by an interested producer of Dr. Phil’s with the possibility to be on his show. I was led to believe that the show was on my side, ready to help me defend myself and my sisters from an abusive home life with our dad. During the process of being asked questions about the situation, I wondered if it was a good idea to trust Dr. Phil or not. I decided that I felt (and still feel) that shining as bright a light as possible on my sister’s situation is the best chance of them being protected and everything being resolved. Between our dad’s extreme emotional abuse and alienation, the court officials shredding our trust and failing us, and thousands of people jumping on my situation and making angry judgments… those girls have been through quite enough. I decided to go for it.

I assumed that Dr. Phil would be a good way to get even more people aware of our problems. After I realized that they weren’t going to help us unless I faced my dad on camera in person, I almost refused because I knew the imminent trauma of being in the physical presence of my abuser who I was (and am) still recovering from living with. But I weighed the possible good that Dr. Phil could do for my sisters, and I decided it would be worth the risk of facing my dad for the first time in over a year. I decided it would be worth the trauma. I told myself that I could handle it, prepare for it, and get through it.

But no amount of hopeful thinking could prepare me for the trauma I experienced being in his presence again and feeling his anger emanating toward me from
his seat ten feet away. Years of emotional abuse and anger directed at me for telling the truth about him was emitted off him right at me. I could recognize it clearly, though onlookers may not have been able to. It's hard for outsiders to see through the charm, the nice-looking fa├žade. Not the way people who've lived with him can. He lost his cool a couple times, his words laced with anger at me in a voice hard with a menace that I recognized all too well. His rage caused me to tremble. I felt like the little girl I was during the thousands of times I endured his exhausting tirades and threats of violence.

It became clear as we proceeded with the producers' interviews that the focus of the episode was not Dad's abusiveness, but rather parental alienation. So in addition to the trauma I felt by being in the presence of my abuser, I was also confused and trying to make sense of the direction the show was being taken. There were many times when it was painfully clear that documents were misread and not investigated enough by his team to understand it. For an example, 
at one point, Dr. Phil read aloud some lines of the list Sydney wrote of lies about our Mom that our dad would say to us on a weekly basis, which Dr. Phil misread as things Mom actually said. For another example, despite the fact that his producers had received the document that showed my dad is an admitted pedophile, who has a history of sexual contact with a child, they opted to focus on the idea my dad carefully spins: that my mom alienated us from him. 

MY DAD'S ABUSE alienates us from him. That is the absolute truth.
At one point, when Dr. Phil asked me for an example of how my dad abused me, I froze. How do I put years and years of multiple methods and incidents of domestic violence, emotional, physical, verbal abuse, and inappropriate sexual advances into one sentence? How do I explain that a lifetime of being made to pay for speaking the truth about him froze my tongue while he sat there looking at me with his banked, violent rage? I could fill up a week's worth of Dr. Phil shows and still not be done talking about the countless ways my dad abused my sisters, me, my mom and Angie. Victims of abuse who read this will understand exactly what caused me to freeze in the presence of my lifelong abuser. Also, victims recognize it when someone has chosen to not believe them. In addition to the panic that had me tongue tied in that moment, when Dr. Phil suggested the court systems are always right (although he had all the documentation that proved otherwise), I decided to stay silent. Being on national TV with the popular host who seemed to have his mind set on that concept, I didn't see how arguing that idea would get my sisters help (which was the only reason I went on the show). I kept praying to myself that somehow, some help could come from the show.

So now, with this blog post, I wish to relay what I would have been able to say on Dr. Phil, had I had enough time and therapy to prepare myself to come face-to-face with the man who abused me my entire life.

Question by Dr. Phil: What has your father done to abuse you?

My answer
My father has:

  • Been found by DCFS to be responsible for "domestic violence related child abuse" of me
  • Physically abused me, my sisters, and Angie by yanking our limbs, thumping our heads, pinching us hard, twisting our skin, and spanking.
  • For years after the supported DCFS findings were made, Dad engaged in emotional abuse of me by repeatedly antagonizing and terrorizing me about my involvement in the 2005 DCFS finding of his domestic violence by telling me that:  when I was nine, I had lied to DCFS; the supposed abuse had never happened; I am a really good liar; my insistence that domestic abuse had happened should bring me shame; I was deluded and deceived into claiming the abuse happened; I do not seek the truth; I would suffer religious consequences for not seeking the truth.
  • Physically abused Abby by gripping her thighs in such a way that she has bruises on them.
  • Been violent toward Abby behind the locked bedroom door, which I think could have caused her pronounced limp she's had since she could walk. 
  • Emotionally abused me, calling me a liar more times that I can even count.
  • Lectured me and my sisters for hours upon hours, telling us lies about our mom and how bad he thinks she is.
  • Described child pornography to me in detail, using himself and my toddler sister as subjects in his narrative by saying "Can you even imagine someone my age doing that with Abby?"
  • Forced my celiac sister to eat gluten and then endure lectures about our mom when her body was distressed afterward.
  • Abused my toddler sister Abby by terrorizing her in front of me and not letting me console her about her beloved Bear that he threw away in front of her.
  • Taken my baby sister Abby and made her scream behind the locked bedroom door over 200 times that I've seen.
  • Refused to allow anyone in the house to comfort the person he abused.
  • Monitored and photocopied our personal journals we thought we had hidden sufficiently until he left full copies in his nightstand.
  • Abused, demeaned, and degraded my stepmom Angie countless times in front of us all. He does this almost daily.
  • Exerted extreme control over every move I made.
  • Isolated me from my sisters and my sisters from each other within the house, using multiple methods to do so.
  • Isolated us from our mother, family (including isolating me against his extended family), friends, therapists, and schools. He did this in Utah before they moved, and then he moved them all to Kansas to be in almost complete isolation.
  • Refused to allow them to talk to their mother except during his once-per-week 15-minute call that he insisted on monitoring.
  • Been violent toward my mother in front of me.
  • He was violent toward me as a child.
  • Disgusted my sisters by suggesting to them that steamed car windows were a result of me passionately kissing my sisters.
  • Done inappropriate things like when he took one of my bras from the laundry hamper, and compared mine to my stepmom's bra, making her bring hers to compare, and made me touch her bra and told me start wearing thin ones like hers.
  • Touched Angie's crotch in lewdly inappropriate ways in front of me.
  • Terrorized me with graphic, detailed stories of extreme violence against women, saying that it could happen to me at any time.
  • Inappropriately repeated a detailed and graphic story of a naked Brazilian woman accosting him in his apartment while on his mission.
  • Threatened us with mom going to jail if we ever told on him.
  • Targeted, threatened, and punished us all for things we had told our therapists.
  • Refused to allow me to pursue my musical and artistic talents despite it being vital to my soul.
  • Sought to make everyone believe that I'm a liar and brainwashed when I give honest, detailed accounts of his abuse.
  • Emotionally abused me by telling me that I'm choosing to follow Satan

Obviously, I could not possibly have said all that in the short time I had with Dr. Phil. I wanted to. My sisters's story is NOT a case of, "we can't live with the parent we want to live with anymore, so we're going to throw a tantrum and run away." No. All these ways and more were how our dad abused us. After all these things happening hundreds and thousands of times over the course of our entire lives (I am 19, Sydney is 15, Dani is 14), they were at the point of an emotional breakdown. I am here to tell their story until they decide to return, and even after they do, I will never stop helping them until their voices are properly heard and they are given the help they need and deserve. They need actual assurance of safety ordered by the court.

66 comments:

  1. OMG! Well, look at that list! Thanks for explaining all of this. I fully understand how the shock of being so close to your angry father would bring up old traumas, especially when you were not expecting being required to do so. How could Dr. Phil leave out the fact that your father has admitted to being a pedophile. With all this going on, it was a short show indeed, but it must have felt like an eternity to you

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    1. I really don't know why he left that fact out. It perplexes everyone. You're welcome for the list--after seeing how the show turned out, I knew that it was necessary. Soo much was left out, or not even discussed during the filming.
      It's interesting you say that, because it really did feel like an eternity. When I watched it today, it seemed like I was watching everything in fast-forward.

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    2. Unfortunately shows like Dr. Phil are looking for sensationalism and ratings. I am in the middle of a documentary addressing the issue of my family's religion being responsible for the deaths of hundreds if not thousands of children.I am afraid this show will not focus on the problem. It takes a lot of courage to face your abusers only to be abused again by the media. I have brought legislation forward for 2 years asking for laws to be changed to protect these children.I have brought public attention to the failings of CPS and other agencies now the lawmakers are more focused on destroying me than protecting the children. It is easier to attack the victim than fix the problem. I hope you have the courage and strength to keep going. There are more of us speaking out and as we do our numbers will grow and become a stronger voice for children in need of protection. My thoughts are with you. <3

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  2. BRITTANY!! I was just posting a comment when you posted this!

    I was writing this:

    "Brittany, your father was sending you "shut up" vibes from across the stage and it was quite clear to my family and I. He was glaring, staring you down, trying to make you uncomfortable. It was VERY clear.
    I could tell you felt uneasy being in his presence and Phil didn't ease that discomfort. I believe it was clear to America that your dad is an abuser, I only wish they had discussed him as a pedophile."

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    1. It relieves me to know that you could see that. I wasn't sure who would--or if anyone, for that matter! I thought that being in his presence wouldn't have such an affect, but it did..
      Thank you for your comment, and I'm glad that I posted something that answered questions you may have had! Thank you for your support.

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    2. Yes! I totally saw and felt it. I think a lot of people did. He reminded me of a cat when it sees something that frightens it. Their tails go up, ears get extra pointy, their eyes get wide, mouth gets tight...

      Your dad is so afraid of you. Afraid of what you might admit having seen or heard, especially regarding Angie and Abby.

      Even though the show was edited irresponsibly, I think you ladies are winning the battle. Saving them from further emotional harm.

      Pedophilia IS an imminent threat.

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    3. Brittany I'm so sorry you have had to go thru this abuse. It is totally disgusting. I can understand your fear. That man gave me the creeps. He is so gross. He sat there looking so cocky. Take care of your sisters. They don't need to go thru such emotional turmoil with that kind of disgusting male. I wouldn't even call him a man.

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  3. Your trembling and inability to speak clearly is PTSD, which I have experienced in being around my ex-husband, who was abusive. I understand this totally. I also understand your inability to explain point blank how abusive a person has been to you. It's one thing to be able to say, "He hit me". It's quite another to, as you have stated, tell all the innuendoes, cruel statements, demeaning sneers, and voice inflections that you lived with day in and day out. Those are all things only those who have lived with it can understand. And Brittany, your father telling you you are a follower of Satan, etc. is spiritual abuse. My children and I experienced this for so long that it has had a profoundly detrimental effect on our spirituality. I applaud you once again for being so strong. Know this: those of us who have experienced some of what you and your family have, believe you totally. You never have to apologize for doing what you know is right.

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    1. AMEN, Lonna. PTSD is what came into my thoughts when I saw Brittany tremble. Brian knows how to cast a glare her way to get her to be quiet. He tried it and as she spoke, the glares got heavier. He hoped she'd be quiet.

      Truly... you said SO many great things, Brittany! It brought this case a lot of attention and your sister is right... why can she be old enough to make those other decisions, but not decide which parent she wants to live with??? Doesn't make sense.

      and yeah, you ARE so strong, Brittany. Michelle is an amazing mother and Brian hates that you girls love her so much.

      You're amazing and you're bringing light to the issues.

      I also second Lonna on the spiritual abuse comments. You need time to heal. Your father has not, and will not change. Your sisters can forgive him... but as you have seen... he will only BLOW up if they return to his home.

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    2. Thank you so much, Lonna... what you write resonates with my experience exactly.

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    3. And anon, thank you as well. I'm blown away by the amount of people supporting me who obviously have experienced similar trauma. So many people who are spreading their strength to me and my sisters with their prayers.
      There is a difference between forgiving and trusting. I think Sydney and Dani are old enough to know the difference. I know that they felt he would indeed blow up when they returned, after exposing him.

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    4. Yes. My father was very similar. I am so sorry you girls are going through this. It's clear they just want your dad to tell the courts that he transfers custody to a family member. Hoping he does the right thing.

      Good luck with your wedding plans, my dear.

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  4. Yeah--that awkward moment when Dr Phil read your sisters journal entry out of context and everyone else knew what she meant...except Dr Phil. Glad you spoke up and clarified. :)

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  5. I know the fear you felt. Twenty years later, and I feel this way when I'm in my father's presence. I can hardly speak, let alone make a powerful case for an argument.

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    1. I'm so sorry for your fears. It is a very difficult, specific kind of fear to describe. I've come a long way in speaking out... and I still have a very long way to go. Being on that episode and feeling the effects of being across from my dad showed me that.

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  6. As a survivor of a narcissistic sociopath, I see these signs clearly. Your dad is a predator and an abuser--probably diagnosable. Unfortunately, these types of predators are so easily able to blur reality and fool people who haven't gone through such abuses. Survivors of abuse are so frustrated when we try to tell people what happened and those lucky enough to have never experienced it cannot understand. I have found that people are more likely to believe a calm and cold sociopath than a victim filled with fear and emotion. It's too bad Dr. Phil doesn't get it, but so few of us do.

    It sure must be nice to be one of the happy-go-lucky onlookers who doesn't see these signs for what they are. Angie is an enabler, but as long as she refuses to protect her own daughter, she is assisting in the abuse. Shame on her.

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    1. Joanna, I'm so sorry for what you've had to endure with the narcissistic sociopath in your life. Most people see the signs clearly only once they've been related to one, or married to one, or in a relationship with one, or etc., unfortunately. :( It would spare people a lot of pain if they just took the time to do some research, instead of looking on blindly.

      "Those lucky enough to have never experienced it cannot understand." There. That's what I was trying to get at. You said it more eloquently that I ever could :)

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  7. I absolutely saw the glares he was trying to send to you. I also noticed that he didn't' answer the question about the new video from the girls. He avoided the question, like a crooked politician. When you father "confronts" you about the girls having many people to turn to in Utah, I see your physical response which looks very much like the PTSD responses of many of my clients. There will be non believers. But Brian cannot lie to the Lord and He knows what you have been through. Know that people see Brian for what he is. My own father accused my mom of this same thing. She stood up for him and defended him until I told her to stop. We children aren't blind and we see what he does. she then just kept quiet. He continued to claim that she turned us against him, but he is the one who did this by his twisted parenting. I'm less concerned about the phone monitoring, other than him using it to keep you from communicating with your mom, than the uncomfortable conversations. We have to have those with our children, but his seem to have a sick pathological twist to them and that is concerning. His telling her negative predictions about your future, also pathological. Do not let him win. You will have a great relationship. You do need to deal with the trauma from your father to do this. But once you do, you are free to be the beautiful young lady that you desire and Brittany....the best revenge is living well. Elizabeth's Smart's mom told her to not that man take one more day of her life. Do what you need to do to not let your father rob you of one more day of happiness in your life. Your sisters will be okay. They will not be irreparably harmed by all of this. They have some healing to do, but you will all be okay and you will have full lives. Let the power of the atonement heal you from the actions of those who have hurt you. That is what it is there for. Stay strong and stay true to the daughter of God you are.

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    1. Anonymous at 9:41 am,
      Wow. First of all, anytime I see a comment like yours, I know that the commenter must have gone through something similar (or knows someone who has). I absolutely love when you said, "The best revenge is living well". That's so true and portrays how I feel. In all honesty, I don't want revenge at all. I want my sisters to have the life they deserve (so much of their childhood is already taken from them) and I want to continue on my path of healing. I have already learned so much about the Atonement in regards to how it can help me heal, and I'm excited for the future ahead. I hope that my sisters aren't too harmed. I know it will take a lot of time. But I have faith that the truth will prevail.

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  8. Brittany, I just wanted to let you know that I believe you. Body language doesn't lie and your father was seething with rage and contempt. I wish the best for you and your sisters.

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    1. Thank you! Letting me know that you believe me means more than I can express. It's so important to me.

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  9. Although the Dr. Phil show didn't go as hoped, I have noticed the spike in page views over the last 24 hrs. I am hopeful that the word will keep spreading!

    I can't imagine the courage it took for you to face your dad. WOW. He was so cold towards you. I applaud you for taking this all head on. And while I'm sure there are times of weakness, so many struggles, and much sadness; you are doing so great.

    You are powerful.
    You are strong.
    You are overcoming.
    You are a fighter.
    You are righteous.
    You are an example.

    All my best wishes are with you.

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    1. Anonymous,
      The words "thank you" simply cannot contain the amount of gratitude I feel for your comment.

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  10. Yikes. We totally saw the seething and contempt as well coming from Brian. Glad others saw it.
    You were clearly experiencing ptsd and shock.
    I gathered that he is extremely controlling. The cameras around the home, I see you mentioned previously that he used them to spy on you girls. Angie was wrong. Not used to protect property...your dad used them to spy and monitor you girls constantly. That's obvious.
    I saw somewhere that he slaps Angie's body when he's upset. This is HUGE.

    The major factors the court needs to hear if you're ever able to brief them;
    I'll summarize:
    Brian physically abused all 4 girls since infancy. Brian physically abused their mom and step mom while in the presence of children. Brian is an admitted pedophile. Brian sexually abuses his kids with forced lewd discussions. Brian creates a hostile home environment with constant monitoring via video surveillance, constant accusations, threats, physical harm, intimidation tactics, and degrading remarks. Brian sexually touches Angie in front of the children. He touches her crotch, chest, buttocks with children present. Brian discusses sex and murder in front of the kids. Brian is fixated on sex.


    Those are your major factors that display imminent threat. So sorry he is that way.

    Dr Phil was extremely off base. Your dad isn't a good father. He wasn't a good one then and he isn't one now. Not in the least. He is obsessive and sick, mentally. You will not be thanking him later for "good parenting" as Angie naively claims. No. America disagrees.

    Dr. Phils objective was to BAIT your mom into coming on the show. Dr Phil was trying to get your mom to come defend herself. I've watched that show for years and Phil was trying to make a point. I think by portraying your dad as a victim, he knew it'd cause a stir... that's a tactic to get a missing person to hop out and say, "WAIT!! Okay, here I am...I want to tell my side..." then they capture the person and take them in for questioning. I don't believe dr. Phil is a positive outlet for real victims. Dr Phil seems to exploit them. Be careful!!

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    1. Thank you for summary--it clearly portrays what has happened in an accurate, condensed form. I think the reason my dad doesn't want me to face him in court is because of those very facts.
      It was hard for me to watch the show when it aired--I had only known it from my perception, and watching it from a viewer's eyes showed me how much I truly froze. I want to kick myself for being so silent, but I could have never foreseen what it would have felt like to be on national TV across from my dad, having not seen him in so long.
      Your words "America disagrees" are powerful and I hope you're right.

      I definitely got the vibe that he wanted to bait her on the show. I felt baited myself! The way he discounted my experiences to nothing definitely showed me that if my sisters and mom ever went on the show, he would do the same thing to them. In my next post, I'll be going into further detail regarding the show.

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    2. Good!! I hope your mom sees this and doesn't run to Phil for help. I truly believe he will try to turn her in to police for some made up allegation.

      I hope your mom is in a safe house with the girls and that they can live with family they WANT to live with.

      I dislike Brian. Something about his sly grin made me uncomfortable. Angie seemed heart broken and unsure of herself.

      Your observations of him are right on. Any person who has been abused can see that he is a grinch.

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  11. Anna Bradley1/27/15, 11:59 PM

    I watched this dvr'd episode with my husband tonight, and I was yelling at the tv that your father looked like a sociopath. The way he glared at you, refused to greet you on stage, his anger was palpable.

    Before even coming to this blog I assumed he tied your mother up in legal proceedings. My husband asked why the father would receive custody and I explained that a lawyer can file paperwork after paperwork after paperwork, effectively bogging the opponent down, wasting time and all their client's money. I watched a documentary called Divorce Corp that explained some of those tactics, and might interest you. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2636456/?ref_=nm_flmg_slf_14

    I enjoy Dr Phil but this seemed terribly one-sided and now after reading your blog I just want to hug you and your sisters. I'm so sorry. You're all incredibly brave and your sisters are old enough to determine where they want to live. As for your mother, good on her! I would do the same, IN A HEARTBEAT, in order to save my child. Any decent parent would.

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    1. Divorce Corp has commented on this blog somewhere before. Their movie highly reflects what has happened here (and my mom's experience is only one of the MANY examples in Utah, as you probably know).

      Thank you for your words of support... you seem like such a strong woman who has seen much of the corruption and unfairness firsthand.

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  12. Brittany, it sounds like you have PTSD. This is common for people in your situation. My daughter was forced into "deprogramming therapy" for two years after she disclosed, where the "therapist" screamed into her face that she was a liar and a terrible person to say such bad things about her daddy. She has now lost all memories from about age ten back. It's as if she weren't alive at all. She now sees a therapist who believes her and says the "deprogramming therapy" severely traumatized her and set her back. You will be attacked and called a liar endlessly by the enablers. It's important that you have a strong support network around you, especially since you're trying to be a support system for your sisters. Dr Phil is a tool and an embarrassment to academia. I pray your mom and sisters can stay safe and that you can heal. It's a long road. Keep your boots on and never give up.

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    1. My dad never ceased to talk about how we needed "deprogramming therapy" from "what our mom did to us". Sydney and Dani became more and more fearful of what he was setting up for them with officials out in Kansas, as he continued to talk about doing that (as well as moving out of country, and other things).
      My dad actually had us in therapy for some time while we lived with him. He had our therapists believing that our relationship with him was severely harmed by our mother and her 'brainwashing', and so for a good 6 months or so, they didn't listen to us at all when we'd express that our anxiety was being caused by our dad. Finally, they started realizing the true problem: we were living with our abuser, and they were trying to heal our relationship with him. They switched tactics and the last year of therapy became a healing therapy, where they would try to help us get through the upcoming week.
      It's insane how much of an effect (whether it's negative or positive) that a therapist can have on someone's life.
      Thank you for your words of encouragement, god bless you.

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  13. Under no circumstance let someone influence you into having a future relationship with your father! He is a sexual predator! No amount of therapy will heal him. He is a product of an over controlling mother, and a father who did not rescue him. He CANNOT get better. I have read every word on your blog. Please do not feel that in order to be a good person, or be right with God, that you should have a relationship with this man. You and your sisters need to heal. period. It will take a long time, and you may not even know at this time that you are suffering PTSD. It is very obvious that your sisters are traumatized as well. You and your sisters will know what "normal" feels like, with more time and space away from this sick controlling man.

    He will continue to injure you throughout your lifetime if you allow him in your life. Forgive, but do NOT associate with him! Do NOT seek to reconcile with this man whose only agenda is to control the women around him. It is imperative for you and your sisters to stay away from him. Nowhere in your scriptures does it say that you must associate with those who do you extreme harm. I don't think you and your sisters even understand HOW much harm he has done to you.

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  14. Dr Phil apparently has a Ph.D in Psychology so really ought to know better (you'd think). Alas I think he saw a kindred spirit in your father, let his mask slip and tried to defend the indefensible! Watched him a few times and thought he was a complete shyster.

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    1. Read the anonymous comment at 2:48 pm below... he doesn't hold an active license. It's interesting.

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  15. I understand how hard it is to express the pain you've been through when the abuse is emotional instead of physical. I often wished my ex would simply punch me in the face as that would be something people could easily understand. It's so much harder to explain the general stress and anxiety that abusers cause through all their subtle actions.

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    1. When I read what you wrote, I remembered all the times I wished the same thing. There was so much rage emanating from him... I knew the only reason he didn't physically hurt me was because he knew the game would be up for him.

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  16. Texas State Board of Examiners of Psychologists

    On October 21, 1988, the Texas State Board of Examiners of Psychologists determined that McGraw had hired a former patient for "part-time temporary employment".[15] Specifically, the board cited "a possible failure to provide proper separation between termination of therapy and the initiation of employment,"[16] issued a letter of reprimand and imposed administrative penalties.[17] The board also investigated claims made by the patient of inappropriate contact initiated by McGraw, but the "Findings of Fact" document issued by the board on October 21, 1988, at the end of its investigation includes no reference to any physical contact of any kind. It specifically identified "the therapeutic and business relationships" as constituting McGraw's sole issue with the board.[17] McGraw fulfilled all terms of the board's requirements, and the board closed its complaint file in June 1990.[18]

    In 1990, McGraw joined lawyer Gary Dobbs in co-founding Courtroom Sciences, Inc. (CSI), a trial consulting firm through which McGraw later came into contact with Oprah Winfrey.[19] Eventually, CSI became a profitable enterprise, advising Fortune 500 companies and injured plaintiffs in achieving settlements. McGraw is no longer an officer or director of the company.[19]

    After starting CSI, McGraw ceased the practice of psychology. He kept his license current and in good standing until he elected to retire it 15 years later in 2006.[20] Appearing on the Today Show in January 2008, McGraw said that he has made it "very clear" that his current work does not involve the practice of psychology. He also said that he had "retired from psychology".[21] According to the Today Show, the California Board of Psychology determined in 2002 that he did not require a license because his show involves "entertainment" rather than psychology.[21] McGraw's license is currently listed by the Texas State Board of Psychology as "retired" and he holds no other active licenses to practice in any other state.[22]
    Per Wikipedia~ Dr. Phil is a joke! Brittany, keep on keeping on, we believe you!

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    1. Wow!!!!! Yup. That explains it. He's all about the show.

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    2. It's amazing that all it takes is reading a Wikipedia article to see things clearly.

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  17. It is hard for me to see all you you are going through with this. Even from the outside. I am constantly amazed at your strength. This is a great post. Though it was hard for me to read it.

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  18. The reason the dad got custody is because of the corruption in family courts in Utah, and many other states. The judges and court agents are corrupt. They receive real estate and cash pay offs every time they remove a child from their protective parent. There is much evidence and stories on You Tube, Lawless America, etc. Michelle and her daughters are victims of this crime family. CPS is involved as well. That should have been the point of the story with Dr. Phil's help. The reason it continues to grow is because the DOJ is corrupt and corrupt politicians place puppets in US Attorney offices - so they will not prosecute any of the cases. There is a bad father's network and they even have directories, so they share names of attorneys who get in front of the bad judges. Tens of thousands of stories and victims.

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    1. So true. Thank you for taking the time to spell this out for others to see. A lot of people seem incapable of seeing the corruption... it truly takes knowing someone who has suffered at the hands of the family courts here to see them for how they are.

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  19. So glad I looked you up. I knew there was so much more to this story. Took me less than 10 seconds to see his true self, very disappointed that Dr. Phil didn't pick up on it as he usually does. Abused people pick up on the slightest detail. However I was surprised he didn't argue with you over that statement made in your sisters journal about your mom. I guess he wanted to only talk about the related topic. Thank goodness your sisters have you and your mother and I commend your mother for doing what she did because the system does not always work. Underground options "assuming this option" as what they call then are here for a reason, when there is no other way. I just hope they are safe. Take care of yourself and it will get better.

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    1. Shirley, thank you for taking the time to research what really happened. The Dr. Phil show was literally 2% of what's actually occurred. There was no way the entire last ten years could have been squished into a 40 minute show--and not just that, a show that only seemed to focus on the running away aspect and hype up the drama. I was hoping it would be a place where the truth could be pointed out, but... all that can be done is to take the good from the experience and move forward. You're so right where you stated "the system does not always work". I'm blown away with how many people have come forward saying "the system always works!" "The courts made their ruling on the mom, so it must be true" & "The father got custody, so he must be the best parent for the kids to live with." Blown away! A lot of people are speak in utter ignorance. There is so much wrong with the system.
      Thank you for your motivating words, and for keeping your eyes open to all sides of this story. I appreciate people like you so much.

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  20. Hi Brittany, we understand why Syd and Dani ran away because our dad use to be abusive towards us. we watched the Dr Phil show and we think you're brave for going on the show even though things didn't work out (sorry about that) we hope Dani and Syd are safe and are praying for them and you. love you

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  21. He wore a fake smile the entire time during the show, no other emotion - I felt creepy vibes and I don't believe a single word that he said, especially when he avoided to answer questions directly, instead he was deflective. I am really surprised that Dr Phil did not have a show down with him.
    Brittany, as we say in New Zealand "Kia Kaha" (stay strong) to you and your sisters

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  22. Brittany, I want to tell you right now that not everyone watching Dr.Phil fell for your fathers act. 1st I thought how could this man sit on a stage live and act so cold and aloof. Not showing any care or feeling that he was finally seeing his eldest child for the 1st time in a year. Any loving and caring parent would (weather true or not) seek to reach out and understand why their child felt abused by them and not to mention want to correct the situation and discuss it. No matter how betrayed your father says he feels a parents love is supposed to be unconditional and if he truly believed you were brainwashed he would have lovingly reached out to you and he barely spoke to you at all except for the comment about your sisters running away. Your father conveniently only showed emotion on a prerecorded statement but not live for all to see. Anybody watching this show not picking up on this is blind. His unwillingness to say yes if it would bring my girls out of hiding they can definitely go live with my brother or other family member. If it meant I had my kids in my life and they felt safe and happy that's what I would do. And when it comes to his fake tears in that prerecorded video he did, anybody who knows the behavior of abusers know that they can put on a good show. I had a boyfriend that abused me, and yes I would get tearful apologies, tears and decrees how much I'm loved and missed after having to check into a psych ward to get my head straight from all the emotional and physical abuse endured wold give me a nervous breakdown. I was appalled and disappointed with Dr.Phil for not seeing through your manipulative and abusive fathers BS. How he only questioned as to weather you and your uncle were being truthful in knowing your sisters whereabouts and weather or not had aided in their running away. While missing the obvious and important questions and facts. Like these are teenage girls and not little kids and their older adult sister all stating abuse by their father. And I'm assuming that you gave him and the show all the documents I have read here, yes? How he could be so irresponsible and not read them closely. The reports from child services where your father was found to be an abuser, how he made your sister eat gluten products despite her having celiac's. Honey you should have taken him the Steve Wilkos show and had your father subjected to a lie detector test. Took one yourself then when you passed and he failed Steve would have told him how much of a dirt-bag he was and to get the hell off his stage. I had not viewed Dr.Phil as one of those Men sticking together types until that show. What loving parent would not break the law to keep their children safe when the law is so blatantly not keeping them safe. I hope and pray your sisters remain safely hidden until they are of age and your father would no longer be able to make them live with him. Lastly I have read some disgusting web pages where people call your mother chicken and selfish. The fact that she would give up complete freedom having to possibly basically hide for the rest of her life (which is what I call limited freedom) for the safety and well being of her children. Is not only brave but selfless, and what ANY true and loving parent would do despite the huge risk of going to prison. You have to brave knowing you can go to prison if caught as prison by all accounts I have heard sounds terrifying. The system fails children all the time and places them with abusive parents or permits unsupervised visits with abusive parents just a small amount of research and you can find many stories children's deaths that these family courts failures has caused. And I would gladly hide your mom and sisters here if it meant keeping them safe from your father.

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  23. You're strength is apparent, this show was on tv again today.

    I was surprised that Dr.Phil did not offer you any type of counselling and kept reverting to your missing sisters..both are the same issue..

    Shirley, you did the right thing - you were able to explain clearly what your life experiences were ..at the hands of your dad. ..it was clear that your dad has a specific way of talking...demeaning and degrading..the child.

    Personally, I agree with everyone, the safety of the children - that is the priority. and now that it has National exposure, the "officials" can do a better job at investigating your dad...and perhaps they can investigate the teachers/neighbors/pastor/friends of the girls..BEFORE even thinking of returning the children.

    I am also surprised that counselling and classes were not offered to your dad..anger management, communication, parental courses...this should be included in any plan of the girls returning to a "safe" environment..

    Shirley, your courage to make sure that people are now aware that your dad needs help, before he lays eyes on his daughters..they are lucky to have you as a big sis.

    Facing your abuser, so proud of you..please take care.

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  24. Funny how every comment on this blog is in your favor. Clearly you are choosing wisely. You are an adult. Grow up. Stop being such a "victim". What your mother has done is illegal. The emotional abuse of children is unconscionable. Your mother has brainwashed you all. I'm a single mother of teenage daughters. I don't like their dad but I don't use them as pawns. Be careful or one day you are going to turn into your mother.

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  25. I have watched Dr. Phil for years, even though I often strongly disagree with him. His biggest weakness is in dealing with abusive husbands and fathers. How ludicrous for him to suggest that the court awarded custody to the father for 'good reasons'! I am writing from Toronto, Canada and my ex-husband presented in a very similar fashion. Enough to get the child psychologist assigned to our case to strongly reccommend he be granted physical custody in a joint arrangement. I was smart enough to back off at that point, so a court order was not issued. Less than a year later my daughter returned home, and became very successful in her field, and is now married to a wonderful man her age. My son stayed with his father, turned to drugs, and is still struggling emotionally. In my ex's case his goal was that I not receive child support (not spousal, for that matter). Financially it has been a huge struggle, and will continue to be so as I near retirement.
    Enough of my story---BRAVO to you for having the strength to face him Brittany! Dr. Phil needs educating on domestic abuse issues! Good luck to you and your sisters and Mom.

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  26. Brittany have you read your Mom's "Lethal Convergence" document? Dr Phil said it was a 30 page document but did not go into at all? Was just wondering what it was about.

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  27. Hello Brittany , I have to admit that when I watch Dr. Phil it's for entertainment , but today as I was watching and doing some work on the computer I glanced up and saw your sisters reading from a script , so ( and I am sorry for this ) I though ,ok dad's right everybody is hiding he kids from him and this is going to be an easy one ,so ,also you being from Utah where I lived for several years and I jumped to conclusions I shouldn't have , so I stopped what I was doing and watched your dad and his actions ,or lack of action and you and your uncle , your uncle shouldn't have been there he didn't help much ,unless it was to give you strength , I then saw your dad and his reaction to things you were saying , I was hoping Dr pill ( yes that was intentional ) would lean into him and say something like ,if someone took my daughters from me and I had any idea where they were I would go and get them , but nothing ,that kind of shocks me but living right next to the "Dr Phil house " I know people that work with him ,it's the house they say is his when they shoot some shows in the setting of his comfy little home ,well that's fake too ,and to top that off the stuff that the son that lives there is doing behind his parents back would make a great dr phil show , Anyway, Brittany , I watched the show times and really focused on your dad and also you ,I know stage fright from just being terrified of someone , and the second time watched I really felt horrible for you and wanted to jump through the t.v. and slap phil on his head and take your dad down ,and immediately a big guy do that would be easy ,sorry Brittany , I got carried away . I wish you all the help and support you can get , I really think you going on the show is going to help you and your sisters more in the long run because ,the only thing that phil said is your father will be under very close scrutiny and transparency , so all the things he has done will hopefully come out . When I was 21 years old I had a 2 year old son and was married ,well she decided to punish me and when she left she took my son ,I went crazy,I did not eat or sleep for almost a month until I found him and got him back ,I know what a loving father would do ,I would have not been sitting there like your father just trying not to stick his foot in his mouth ,in fact I would be looking for my kids until I had them ,he ,to me didn't act like a father whose girls were taken from him ,so ,I am on your side and will be praying for you and your sisters so that everything can be worked out and you can have a happy life and so can your sisters ! Oh the other thing that was a huge sign your father is abusive is when his current wife/victim spoke ,she looked like a frightend puppy ,sorry that's all I could think of , stay strong ,you doing what you did will help in the long run ! Good luck and stay strong !

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  28. I watched the show today for the first time and was shocked how horribly DR Phil handled everything. Your situation is so similar to mine, only I am the ex whose ex husband raped and abused me.and was an addicted, admitted porn addict, and who still was able to get get physical custody of my young children, 5 years ago because I fled OK to return to Texas with my kids. OK has a law that children cannot be taken 100 miles away from spouse without consent, so he won based on a technicality. I was not going to go back to OK where his entire evil family was fighting against me. My kids (daughter 10 and son 5 at the time)..cried, kicked and screamed ....and begged me to not make them go with him. He is so much like your father. He claimed he "found God" during divorce, even though he loved to say " I am God"...and hated church when we were together. He was extremely addicted to rape porn, and I caught him countless times. Everything I did he put down, always calling out the things I didn't do right. He became distant, demanding, hateful, and super controlling. When my daughter turned 13, we went to court and my daughter tried to give the judge a journal she had been keeping that I had not even read, and the judge shoved it away from her, saying I must have "coached" her. When I heard the references of coaching regarding your sisters, it made me physically sick to my stomach. How dare people who have never met my child to judge her or your sisters, based on a few moments, or brief encounters. My daughter ran screaming out of the courtroom that morning...running to me screaming "Mommie!!".. I will never ever forget that moment. My faith in our judicial system has been completely shattered. I have called CPS because my daughter found bondage images on her computer when he got on it and it scared her, and he in turn, accused her of pulling up that search history. I also called because he would repeatedly do things like you describe..the hair pulling..pinching...rough play, hitting her in the face with a ball over and over and laughing...and on and on. CPS could hardly believe it when I told them a judge gave an admitted porn addict custody. I cannot believe Dr Phil was so adamant about making courts look perfect. He is the one who always says "Don't let a complete stranger determine the future of your children." The words your Dad kept saying like " we just have to let the court decide"..made me cringe too. My ex would say the same thing over and over, even though everyone knows, like in your situation, he could allow them to return to their Mother, it is simply all about control.
    I feel for you all, and just had to write because I know the pain you are feeling and your sisters. The most frustrating thing is to feel like no one is listening to you when you need help, and choose to believe lies of a narcissistic control freak over the truth. My ex was in sales his whole life, and can lie through his teeth no problem. He constanlty makes up lies about me and lied his entire time in court. My daughter who is now almost 16 says she will demand to come here next school year, but I know he wont just let her. She also told me she knows now she has "two" dads..with two different personalities....as he even in her own words is "fake" to strangers or when in public but much different when alone with them.I just wanted to let you know I will keep you guys in my prayers. It helps knowing others who are going through something similar, and yet so heartbreaking at the same time. I used to fantasize about contacting someone like Oprah or Dr Phil, to get help, and now I see how that might have played out. I think it's horrible based on the things you disclose in your blog. When did he admit he was a pedophile? I don't know if he had an attorney that was owed a favor by a judge, but we believe that is what happened to me.

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  29. I just saw a rerun of your Dr.Phil-Show. Your Dad came across a self-controlled creep. He reminded me a lot of my mom who used to beat me up like every day from when I was four until the age of 12. I believe he must have been seriously traumatized as a child but never had a chance to heal. So now he has to have everything under his control or he will freak out.

    You should point the Dr.Phil-Show to your blog. Include a list of links to the most important posts such as what you witnessed happening to Abby or the bra incident.

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    1. Brittany,
      What a courageous and brave young woman you are! Your story is so believable.
      It was so apparent that your Father is abusive just by his demeanor on the show.
      I lived with an abusive husband for 24 years of my life and totally understand your pain and hurt, especially for your two sisters. My heart goes out to you Brittany and if there's any advice I could give, it's that you and your sisters continue to walk this out in Truth like you are doing and sooner or later, what your father is hiding in darkness will be brought forth into the light! One thing I've learned is that truth always surfaces and in the end, God always wins! So don't lose faith or hope.
      Stay the course and keep pressing forward, leaving your past behind. You are a beautiful young lady and will go on to lead a most beautiful life. You are on the hearts of many people! My sadness is that your stepmom is in total denial just like I was and that makes me sad for your little sister. Thankfully your Mom was brave enough, just like your sisters to break free. You are a dear heart Brittany, don't give up your fight!

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  30. I believe your account of your father's behaviours and am sorry that happened to you. However, I don't think it's in their best interest to vanish with their mother either, and I personally got a strong feeling that someone in the discussion knew exactly where they were (if not you, then your uncle or grandmother). I understand that keeping them away from him is an utmost priority. But with the legal documentation you have, it would not be hard to do so legally (your mother has no standing charges from what I understand, and the law is usually on the mother's side, especially given your dad's history it would not take much). They would be old enough to request legal permission to stay with an uncle or aunt they trust.

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  31. The way you try too solve your problems by this blog, have a lot of in common with the way your mother "handles" things.
    It's very obvious that everybody here symphatises with you, while nobody speakes about the actions your mother took.
    You complain about the system when the system doen't aknowledge your reality, but discard the system when it's not in your interest.
    I don't by your story not knowing where or whith whom your sisters are, and this blog only makes things worse..

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    1. lynell dangerfield10/16/15, 2:20 AM

      The system did not protect britt, or her sisters...this is a commom problem within our justice system. I disagree with you...Britt is married to my son...she has lived with me for over a year. She is very honest and sincere. I personally have seen what her father has done to her. She has been traumatized. You have not lived in her father,s home...you know nothing. There is a judgment day, Brian will answer for his sins. He will suffer as he has made his girls suffer. He is a pretender, a wolf in sheeps clothing. Anyone who believes him' has been deceived.

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    2. This blog exposes what abuse brian has perpetuated on his girls...the truth needs to be told, not covered up

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  32. I'm praying for you, your sisters, and your family. You all deserve nothing but happiness and peace. I hope that horrible man is removed from your lives forever. I have been a huge Dr. Phil fan for a very long time and the show he did with you was the first time I really disliked him as a TV host, as professional, and as a person. I will never ever view him and his show the same way. And let me tell you all of my friends feel the exact same...Dr. Phil has failed everyone involved in a huge way. You and your sisters safety should have been his number 1 priority....no matter what. It was obvious to me that he and his staff completely dropped the ball on this one. Fortunately, the show did at least help to continue to spread your message and bring more inquiring eyes. Those girls need to remain as far away as possible until the time comes that they are legally able to take control of their own lives. Wishing you all the best and congratulations on beating the odds....you made it despite that warped human's best attempts at beating you down and keeping you there. Your dignity and grace in the face of unspeakable evil is something you should be commended for. The example you are setting will undoubtedly help your sisters to be able to overcome all and any future problems that may continue to haunt them.

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  33. Brittany, I'm not sure If you will come across my comment or not. I am sincerely hoping you will though. As I was watching the re-run of your show today, I was struck with the similarities of your situation and mine. As I watched your story unfold, I became enthralled and understood what you, your younger sisters, and your mother have gone through with Brian. I've had to go through the same emotional and mental abuse that your "father" (if you can even call such an awful man like that a father) has put you through. Not only did I recognize the exact phrases your dad said on TV, but I also recognized them in the comments and posts on your blog. Everything from the "deprogramming" to the insistence that your mother was the cause of everything, to the gas-lighting of calling you a liar and telling you that your memories, thoughts, and ideas were wrong and that you "remembered them wrong". I understood how frustrated you probably were with the portrayal of your abuser as an "upright father" who acted like he wanted your sisters back for their safety, when he truly only wants to control them.

    I want to express to you my empathy and sympathy for your situation. My mother and I were appalled at the way Dr.Phil handled your situation. I know that at times it can help to talk to someone who understands the situation you are in, and just know that the people like me who have been in your situation hear you and are here to support you. I'm here to talk, and I'm sure many other people who have commented on your blog also agree that they are here to talk. It also may help to seek out guidance from a support group or therapist that specializes in survivors of abuse. They may be able to help you and your sisters cope, and may also be able to help your sisters feel safe to come home.

    If there is any way that me or any of the other followers on your blog can help your sisters stay safe in hiding, or become safe from out of hiding, we would be willing to do so. Please let us know. I'm not sure if your blog allows you to email me but if not, my email is breezy.123@att.net

    Thank you so much for your strength and bravery. I will keep you and your three sisters in my thoughts and prayers. Do not hesitate to contact me at any time, and I wish you and your family best of luck.

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  34. Paige French8/19/15, 1:14 AM

    Dear Brittany, I just watched a rerun of you on the Dr. Phil show. I just have to say what a jerk he was to you. It was so undeserved. I have been in this situation since 2004, & it is still ongoing to this day. I applaud you for the courage it took to appear on that show. Especially since you had to sit across from your dad on stage. WOW! That's huge!! I do know what you have gone through & your worry about your sisters in hiding & your baby sister, still living in that enviornment. I am so mad at Dr. Phil for not recognizing your abuse, leaving out pertinent information about your dad. Personally I would have arranged to do the same thing your 2 sisters & mom did if I could have. I however, have a handicapped son as well. So going into hiding for me with him just wasn't an option for me, although I thought about it alot. I hope your Mom stays put.For Dr. Phil to scare you like that, about your Mom going against the custody orders is BS. Yes she is in contempt of court. That being said, they cant get her or the girls unless they find her. Her other option would be to arrange for the girls to stay somewhere else for a bit, then have your Mom surface without the girls . The police cannot help you with this because they are required to follow the court orders even if they are wrong. My suggestion would be to get in touch with some womens abuse shelters or support organizations. They could have vital resources, options, & support for you, & your 3 sisters. Secondly, I would start a journal of sorts . Write down the different things your dad has said & done to you and your sisters over the years. Documentation of these things ARE VITAL & CRUCIAL. I would continue to search for support & abuse resources to help you with your sisters. My daughter wasn't able to leave her dad. Now she is going to probably need years of therapy, so she knows that she is a worthy person, & a loveable person, & that she is loved.Don't give up the fight on this. It takes alot of fighting to get through to people what is really going on in that house. By all means make copies of your original court documents you have. Keep the originals in a safe place. You may be able to talk to Childrens services and show them the documents about your dad being a pedophile & your mom being a fit & honest person. Tell them about all of the abuse & inappropriate talk, behaviors, etc.. They may or may not listen to you. It depends on the caseworker unfortunately. But you can ask for your interview with them, including documents, to be made a part of your sisters permanent file. I am so proud of you for doing what your doing for yourself & your sisters. God Bless You, your sisters & your Mom. I hope my suggestions pan out to help you. Best Wishes & Good Luck

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  35. Paige French8/19/15, 1:16 AM

    Brittany, it's Paige again. Look up the term gaslighting & see if the definition of fits your situation. I know that it did fit mine.

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  36. I believe you darling i hope you will see you're sisters and mother very soon sending Hugs your way. You're father has a mean face how he looks at you makes me scared

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  37. is there a link to where i can watch this episode?

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