his seat ten feet away. Years of emotional abuse and anger directed at me for telling the truth about him was emitted off him right at me. I could recognize it clearly, though onlookers may not have been able to. It's hard for outsiders to see through the charm, the nice-looking façade. Not the way people who've lived with him can. He lost his cool a couple times, his words laced with anger at me in a voice hard with a menace that I recognized all too well. His rage caused me to tremble. I felt like the little girl I was during the thousands of times I endured his exhausting tirades and threats of violence.
It became clear as we proceeded with the producers' interviews that the focus of the episode was not Dad's abusiveness, but rather parental alienation. So in addition to the trauma I felt by being in the presence of my abuser, I was also confused and trying to make sense of the direction the show was being taken. There were many times when it was painfully clear that documents were misread and not investigated enough by his team to understand it. For an example, at one point, Dr. Phil read aloud some lines of the list Sydney wrote of lies about our Mom that our dad would say to us on a weekly basis, which Dr. Phil misread as things Mom actually said. For another example, despite the fact that his producers had received the document that showed my dad is an admitted pedophile, who has a history of sexual contact with a child, they opted to focus on the idea my dad carefully spins: that my mom alienated us from him.
MY DAD'S ABUSE alienates us from him. That is the absolute truth.
Question by Dr. Phil: What has your father done to abuse you?
My answer: My father has:
- Been found by DCFS to be responsible for "domestic violence related child abuse" of me
- Physically abused me, my sisters, and Angie by yanking our limbs, thumping our heads, pinching us hard, twisting our skin, and spanking.
- For years after the supported DCFS findings were made, Dad engaged in emotional abuse of me by repeatedly antagonizing and terrorizing me about my involvement in the 2005 DCFS finding of his domestic violence by telling me that: when I was nine, I had lied to DCFS; the supposed abuse had never happened; I am a really good liar; my insistence that domestic abuse had happened should bring me shame; I was deluded and deceived into claiming the abuse happened; I do not seek the truth; I would suffer religious consequences for not seeking the truth.
- Physically abused Abby by gripping her thighs in such a way that she has bruises on them.
- Been violent toward Abby behind the locked bedroom door, which I think could have caused her pronounced limp she's had since she could walk.
- Emotionally abused me, calling me a liar more times that I can even count.
- Lectured me and my sisters for hours upon hours, telling us lies about our mom and how bad he thinks she is.
- Described child pornography to me in detail, using himself and my toddler sister as subjects in his narrative by saying "Can you even imagine someone my age doing that with Abby?"
- Forced my celiac sister to eat gluten and then endure lectures about our mom when her body was distressed afterward.
- Abused my toddler sister Abby by terrorizing her in front of me and not letting me console her about her beloved Bear that he threw away in front of her.
- Taken my baby sister Abby and made her scream behind the locked bedroom door over 200 times that I've seen.
- Refused to allow anyone in the house to comfort the person he abused.
- Monitored and photocopied our personal journals we thought we had hidden sufficiently until he left full copies in his nightstand.
- Abused, demeaned, and degraded my stepmom Angie countless times in front of us all. He does this almost daily.
- Exerted extreme control over every move I made.
- Isolated me from my sisters and my sisters from each other within the house, using multiple methods to do so.
- Isolated us from our mother, family (including isolating me against his extended family), friends, therapists, and schools. He did this in Utah before they moved, and then he moved them all to Kansas to be in almost complete isolation.
- Refused to allow them to talk to their mother except during his once-per-week 15-minute call that he insisted on monitoring.
- Been violent toward my mother in front of me.
- He was violent toward me as a child.
- Disgusted my sisters by suggesting to them that steamed car windows were a result of me passionately kissing my sisters.
- Done inappropriate things like when he took one of my bras from the laundry hamper, and compared mine to my stepmom's bra, making her bring hers to compare, and made me touch her bra and told me start wearing thin ones like hers.
- Touched Angie's crotch in lewdly inappropriate ways in front of me.
- Terrorized me with graphic, detailed stories of extreme violence against women, saying that it could happen to me at any time.
- Inappropriately repeated a detailed and graphic story of a naked Brazilian woman accosting him in his apartment while on his mission.
- Threatened us with mom going to jail if we ever told on him.
- Targeted, threatened, and punished us all for things we had told our therapists.
- Refused to allow me to pursue my musical and artistic talents despite it being vital to my soul.
- Sought to make everyone believe that I'm a liar and brainwashed when I give honest, detailed accounts of his abuse.
- Emotionally abused me by telling me that I'm choosing to follow Satan.